Your First Night in Pattaya

1. Save your hotel location

Open your map while you’re at the hotel. Check that the pin is right, then save it.

Take a screenshot of the hotel’s name, address, and phone number. Ask reception for a business card or the address written in Thai, too. The screenshot helps if your data stops working. The card helps if your phone becomes an expensive black rectangle.

Before leaving, check that your mobile data works outside the hotel’s Wi-Fi.

“The one near the bar and the convenience store” gives your driver a fairly generous selection.

2. Pick one area to start

Choose an area, find somewhere to eat, and give yourself time to look around.

Start with one or two places close together. Check their locations on the map before heading out. If you like a place, stay. If you don’t, move on.

You don’t need six bars, three neighborhoods, and a spreadsheet of places somebody mentioned on YouTube. Leave yourself room to find something you actually enjoy.

There’s no attendance certificate for visiting every bar.

3. Check the prices before ordering

Look at the menu. If a price or charge isn’t clear, ask before you order.

That includes drinks you offer to buy for someone else. Ask what the drink costs, confirm how many you’re buying, and be clear about whether you’re offering one drink or another round.

Keep track as you go. If a charge looks wrong, ask calmly while the order is still fresh. If you can’t get a clear explanation of the prices, choose another place before opening a tab.

A ten-second question looks considerably better than arguing about the answer an hour later.

4. Set your budget before the first drink

A night out could cost you 5,000 baht or 20,000 baht. Those are examples, not targets. Decide what you’re comfortable spending before you start ordering.

Include dinner, drinks, entertainment, and the trip back. Put your ride-home money aside first.

Don’t confuse having 20,000 baht available with deciding to spend it tonight. You’ve still got the rest of the vacation to enjoy.

Look at the prices before settling in. If you’re buying someone a drink, confirm the price and how many you’re buying. One drink, another round, and “keep them coming” are three very different instructions.

If you’re keeping a running tab, check the total occasionally. Small orders can add up while you’re busy having a good time.

You can spend more if you decide the evening is worth it. Just know what you’ve already spent and make that decision deliberately.

Six beers in, you may discover a generous philanthropist living inside you. Unfortunately, he has access to your money and no interest in tomorrow’s plans.

For more information, watch my video: Ballin’ vs Budgetin’ in Pattaya: A Degenerate’s Guide.

▶Watch video · Starts at 1:13

5. Know how you’re getting back

Before leaving the hotel, decide how you’ll return. Ask reception if you need help understanding your options.

For an unmetered ride, agree on the fare and destination before setting off. With an app booking, check the destination and match the driver and vehicle details before getting in.

If you’re drinking, arrange a ride. Keep enough phone battery to book it and pull up your hotel details.

And when you’re ready to leave, leave. You don’t owe the night an extension because someone ordered another round.

Getting back with your phone, wallet, and enough energy to enjoy tomorrow is a perfectly respectable finish.